


Out and In

by SmilesRawesome



Category: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, DC Cinematic Universe, DCU, Justice League (2017), Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Autistic Barry Allen, Autistic Character, Autistic Dick Grayson, Autistic Tim Drake, Gen, Protective Bruce Wayne, Sign Language, batdad TM, batfam, batfamily, featuring me: shoving the robins into the DCEU, if you cant self project onto fictional characters then what’s the point, meltdowns, sensory issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 17:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13439460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmilesRawesome/pseuds/SmilesRawesome
Summary: It’s a Very Bad Brain Day for Barry Allen, but he doesn’t want the Justice League to know. He’s just gotta last until he makes it home... right?





	Out and In

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y’all back at it again with the Self Projection autism fics lmaooo. First work for this fandom soooo that’s what this is.

“Get ‘em out.”

  
Barry was having, what he had dubbed, a Bad Brain Day. He’d been so busy lately, with his new job and the training Bruce had set up for him, not to mention still looking for the Man In Yellow. He’d felt this burnout coming for a few days now, and it had hit him like a brick wall just before a big fight.

  
He’d barely been able to pay attention to the plan Bruce and Diana laid out, his mind numb and sore with all that he’d been pushing it. Pulling on his glove, making it tighter and tighter with each pull, seemed to help the slightest bit, enough to catch the overall basics of what he was meant to do.

  
“Get ‘em out.”

  
Get the civilians out after Victor had cleared a path. Get them away from the fighting. That’s all he had to do, the others could handle the rest, Batman said, so he didn’t need to know the rest of the plan. He just repeated his instructions to himself, knowing the others would just think he was trying to get over his nerves.

  
“Get ‘em out.”

  
Now, however, the fight had been over for almost four hours. They were all sitting in the batcave, and even the most patient of them (Diana and Clark) were starting to throw him annoyed looks. Barry knew he was being annoying, he just didn’t know how to stop. Repeating his instructions was the only thing he had to keep him from falling into that complete burnt-out state he could feel in his head, just barely being held back by his desperate echolalia.

  
“Get ‘em out.”

  
Bruce sighed where he was working at his super-computer, rubbing his hands over his face. Victor tapped his foot on the floor impatiently. Barry swallowed thickly, but knew he couldn’t stop. He just had to keep it together until they all went back home. He couldn’t let any of them see the way he could so easily break down, they’d throw him off the team, and then he’d lose his only sure way of finding the Man In Yellow... He’d lose his only _friends_.

  
“Get ‘em out. Get ‘em out. Get ‘em out.”

  
Arthur grunted and slammed his drink down as he turned towards him.  
“You already got them out, can you **quit** it already?” He snapped, huffing as he turned away again. Barry’s eyes widened, pulling his glove tighter again even though he knew he shouldn’t. His hand was already numb. Diana frowned at Arthur, turning towards Barry as he crossed his arms over his chest.  
“That wasn’t the best way to ask you to stop, but you have been saying this for a while now. Are you alright, Barry?”

  
Barry nodded, trying to give her a smile, though he didn’t think it came out like one. She went back to what she was doing with Victor and Arthur, Clark and Bruce working over at the super-computer. He stood somewhere in the middle, shifting from foot to foot as he waited for someone to tell him he could go home.

  
Though it was possible he wouldn’t be able to hear the instructions at all. Everyone was talking, chatting together over... whatever it was they were doing. It was all static in his head, buzzing louder and louder, hurting his brain. His chest hurt, everything hurt actually, and it took him several moments too long to realise it was because his suit was pressing in on him in a way that was total sensory _hell_.

  
He couldn’t be weak, not in front of the first real friends he’d ever had. He wouldn’t have to last too much longer, probably. He’d be able to go home soon, back to his favourite chair and his favourite screen playing his favourite cartoon drinking his favourite brand of hot chocolate and eating his favourite donuts while holding his favourite soft toy and fiddling with his favourite tangle and he just had to last a little bit _longer_.

  
There was buzzing closer to him now, insistent, repeating the same noise, getting louder and louder and louder. He hated it, he just wanted it to go away. Pressure increased on his chest, and his temples throbbed, making him realise only then that at some point he had squeezed his eyes shut. There was a feeling in his throat, meaning he was making some sort of noise, but he couldn’t discern it from any of the other buzzing noises that _just. wouldn’t. stop._

  
The buzzing got even louder for a time, which he didn’t think was possible, and then something was _touching him touching him touching him **touching him!!!**_

  
There was a loud screaming sound, and whatever was touching him stopped, but everything had already gone to shit. Out. He needed to get out of this stupid bad sensory thing. He had to get it off. He started tugging at the straps, but his eyes were still closed, and he had pulled everything so tight it was difficult. That fact didn’t fully register with him, though, not with how exhausted and sore his head was, just resulted with him tugging more desperately at his suit with no results.

  
There was a gentle buzzing, he couldn’t quite make out what it was, but it sounded soothing. He tensed as something touched him again, but he let it continue as it slipped off one of his gloves, let the touch help him take the suit off. As the pieces came off, he was able to piece together more and more of reality. Something dropped onto the bare skin of his hands, making him blink his eyes open and see that he’d been crying, probably for some time now.

  
With his eyes now open, Barry could see that he was shaking, that Diana was helping him slowly pull his suit off. That was as far as his awareness stretched for the moment. He could see Diana’s lips moving, but could still only hear buzzing. His shaking hands tugged at his helmet for a few moments until it came free, and he gasped as some of the pressure around his head released. Some of the pressure around his chest released as well, so he tried deliberately taking more breaths, which helped quite a bit. With more air in his lungs, some of the buzzing seemed to fade out too.

  
“That’s ..... rry. Keep bre ............ doing so w ..... Good work, Barry. I ..... of you ........ there we go. Just a .... pieces and then we’re done. I just want you to keep breathing, Barry. That’s all you need to do for me. This is the last piece and then it’s all off. You’re handling this very well, you are very brave, Barry.” Diana stopped speaking as the last bit of his suit came off, and his eyes followed its progress as it slid across the floor until it hit a foot. Following the foot up the attached leg and body, he found Arthur standing there with a blank face.

  
Barry flinched internally, not having the energy to externally express it. The man had been annoyed enough by his chattering, what must he think of him after screaming and crying and needing his suit taken off for him like a child. A spark of pain shot through his hand, and he let out an involuntary hiss, holding it closer to his chest.  
“Barry?” It took him a minute, but he managed to piece together his surroundings enough to find the owner of the voice, Clark, hovering a few feet in the air. When Clark saw he had Barry’s attention, he continued.  
“Your hands had their circulation cut off. They were purple when we pulled off your gloves. They’re going to hurt for a while.”

  
Barry looked at a place on the floor. Some distant part of his brain realised he should respond, but he just didn’t have it in him. He was so _tired_ and everything _ached_. He wanted to go home and sleep for a billion years. His hands went over his ears at a sudden loud clattering, closing his eyes again to try and block out as much sensory input as possible. There was some sort of conversation happening around him that he managed to be vaguely aware of, but he wasn’t able to fully engage.

  
“Fuck, the boots. _Shit shit_ -“  
“And **where** did you go?! Barry-“  
“Shh, no harsh noises. I had to get this, it’ll help.”  
“A blanket? You left while Barry was having some kind of attack for a blanket?”  
“Yeah, a blanket. Try not to sound so hostile. It won’t help.”  
“Are you even being seri-“  
“Bruce has a point, this isn’t helping him.”

  
The room went quiet, quiet enough that Barry lowered his hands from his ears, slowly opening his eyes. The lights had been lowered, which was much easier to deal with, and Bruce was walking towards him, boots and mask off, but otherwise still in the full Batman costume.  
“Hey, Barry.” Bruce murmured, his voice soft and low and nice feeling. “Do you wanna sit down?”

  
Sitting down sounded awesome, actually, so he let himself drop onto the ground, his legs letting out a twinge of relief. Bruce knelt down in front of him, holding out a bundle in his arms.  
“Do you want this? It’s weighted.” Bruce offered, to which Barry nodded. He’d never had the money to get himself a real weighted blanket, had just resulted to piling heaps of normal ones. Bruce moved carefully, but not like Barry was fragile, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders, letting Barry grab onto it and hold it close.

  
It was so warm and heavy, like the best kind of hug. Barry closed his eyes, burying his face into the soft fabric.  
“Bruce,” someone started, making him flinch, hands automatically coming up to cover his ears.  
“Shh.” Bruce murmured in that same low voice, Barry opening his eyes again to look at him while keeping his hands over his ears. Bruce offered him a smile, and it made him look... younger... softer.

  
‘ASL?’ Bruce asked him in sign _(in sign!!)_ , Barry nodding yet again in response.  
‘Is there anything you want to do?’ Bruce continued, Barry tapping his fingers against the side of his head, having started to move his hands to answer, but hesitating, not wanting to seem childish. Bruce didn’t say anything though, didn’t push him to answer the way other people have in the past. Eventually, he pulled his hands away from his head and signed out  
‘Cartoons?’

  
Bruce nodded easily, standing up and offering him a hand. Barry glanced at the hand for a moment, before remembering what it was for.  
‘No gloves.’ He signed, trying to keep his fingers at a normal speed. Even before he’d gotten his powers he had often signed too quickly out of embarrassment. Again, Bruce just nodded, pulling the gloves off and handing them to Diana. He held out his hand once more, and Barry reached up to take it.

  
Standing now, the shaking started back up again, and when Bruce went to pull his hand away, Barry squeezed and held on. Not thinking about it, just wanting the comfort of the pressure there. Bruce still didn’t mention it, just left his hand in Barry’s and started leading him upstairs into the main mansion. He didn’t pay attention to the journey, just tried to stay on his feet and keep the blanket on with just one hand. He found himself in a room that was almost like a movie theatre, except the screen was smaller, and the chairs were all couches with varying numbers of seats and softness.

  
He deposited himself into a very soft single seater, staring ahead while Bruce played with remotes, only acknowledging him once he signed to him in his line of sight.  
‘What show?’  
‘F-U-T-U-R-A-M-A.’ Barry answered, shifting the blanket so that it covered him more now that he was comfortable. As comfortable as he could be since his whole body ached with exhaustion.

  
Bruce knelt down in front of his chair, grabbing his attention again.  
‘You need to bring your energy back up.’  
‘Hot chocolate and donuts.’  
Bruce nodded, then pursed his lips.  
‘You need salt too.’ He added, raising an eyebrow. Barry thought for a few moments before answering  
‘French fries?’ hesitantly.  
‘It’ll do. Is there anything you want from your place? I’ll send someone to get it.’

  
Barry hesitated again, tugging on his finger until Bruce started signing again.  
‘It’s no trouble. These things happen sometimes. I don’t want you to push yourself in the future, alright? It’s possibly hypocritical of me to say, but mental health is important.’ The man signed, causing Barry to crack a smile for the first time all day. Bruce smiled back, then asked again.  
‘Is there anything you want? I’m a billionaire, I’ll be able to get it.’

  
‘Swiss Miss hot chocolate, Miss Laney’s bakery but if they’re shut krispy kreme is okay. Twenty four hour diner on Eddy Avenue for fries. There’s a tangle on my bedside table, and a toy whale in my third drawer.’ Barry answered, feeling a flush covering his face at asking for so many things at once. Bruce, once again, just nodded. He handed Barry a remote and stood.  
‘The subtitles are on, you just need to hit play. I’m going to go sort everything out.’ He signed, then turned to leave.

  
Barry reached out a hand to signal him to stop, biting on his lip.  
‘Thank you.’ He signed, pausing for a moment before continuing. ‘How do you know sign?’ He asked. Bruce seemed mildly surprised by the question, but nevertheless turned back to answer him.  
‘My kids use it. Same reason I’ve got the blankets, they use them. Although Dick prefers to be covered by a person rather than a blanket.’ A different sort of smile took over Bruce’s face, fond with something hidden at the edges.  
‘Won’t one of your kids need this one?’ Barry asked, gesturing to the dull red blanket he was covered with. The something at the edges became more prominent for a moment, before Bruce shook his head.  
‘No. Not that one.’

  
Something about the look reminded Barry of old headlines in news articles; _Wayne Child Jason Todd Dead, Wayne Family In Mourning_. He bit his lip again and nodded.  
‘Anything else?’ Bruce asked him, a little more guarded than he had been these last few... however long it had been. He wasn’t good with time when he was at full capacity, let alone like this. He shook his head no and watched him leave before clicking play on the remote.

  
Diana and Arthur joined him roughly halfway through the episode, Arthur grabbing another one of the single seaters while Diana sat on the three seater just next to him.  
‘Are you feeling better now?’ She asked him, her fingers moving gracefully through the signs. Barry smiled and nodded, not having expected her to know ASL. Though maybe he should have, she was a genius after all. He was just so used to people around him being oblivious, this was a pleasant change.

  
She asked him questions about the show, saying she had never branched into this form of Men’s Entertainment. He answered them easily, Diana somehow able to keep up with his rapidly moving fingers. Victor came in not long after, throwing a hesitant smile his way before sitting, and halfway through the second episode, Clark came flying in laden with all of Barry’s favourite things, as well as enough to go around for everyone else. He accepted his share with a smile and a signed thanks, twisting the tangle around his fingers and placing Harbour on his lap under the blanket before digging in.

  
Bruce didn’t come back which was fine, really. Bruce wasn’t great at socialising and had probably filled his quota for the day. The rest of them had fun snacking and watching the show, Barry quoting his favourite lines with his fingers. Clark cocked his head to the side after a few episodes, just before they were joined by two other people. Someone around Barry’s own age, and a young teen being carried piggy-back style.

  
The man threw them all a smile, sitting down on the spare seat beside Barry, the boy shifting onto his lap.  
‘Nice choice, I normally go with Adventure Time.’ The man signed, Barry smiling in response.  
‘I’m not fully caught up, but it is also a good choice. Hi, B-A-R-R-Y, Magic.’ He answered.  
‘D-I-C-K, Bird. This is T-I-M, Stars.’ Tim looked up at him, waved hello, then went back to watching the screen, curled up in his brothers lap. Bruce’s kids. Obviously. He should have figured that out.

  
‘Not that it’s not cool to meet you or anything, but what are you doing here?’ Barry asked. Dick grinned, absently running a hand through Tim’s hair before answering.  
‘We’re tricking Bruce into spending time with his new friends. He’ll come looking for us soon for dinner, Tim will pretend to be asleep, and the old softie will come eat with us in here. But don’t tell him I called him that.’ Dick winked as he finished, making Barry’s cheeks flush.

  
They settled back into the show, Tim looking like he was actually falling asleep on his brothers lap. Clark and Arthur were holding back laughter at some of the jokes. Diana seemed to be enjoying herself, but raised a disapproving eyebrow at some of the Men’s Antics on the show. Victor was using his abilities to search for trivia on the show. Barry and Dick were both quoting, somehow having decided who got which characters without any discussion whatsoever.

  
Alfred came in three episodes after Dick, the two of them having a whispered conversation for a minute before the older stood, a hint of a smirk being pressed down at the corners of his mouth. He nodded once, then left. When he returned, he had food in tow, a real dinner with enough for those with super-metabolisms as well. Barry got distracted by eating and the show, his attention not able to sort through so many things at once currently. When finished with his food, he took his tangle in his hands again, twisting it around his fingers as he stared at the screen, letting the soft colours wash over him.

  
A movement to his side distracted him again, glancing up to see Tim kneeling up on the couch, leaning over the back and waving to someone on the other side of the room. Dick was awkwardly holding two plates, as if having just grabbed one from being tossed from his brothers lap (which in fact was what had happened). Barry turned to the other side of the room to see Bruce standing in the doorway, his expression neutral except for the slight frown as he took in the sight of his eager youngest. Barry smiled over at him, making the same inviting gesture, his smile widening into a beam as the man actually took a few steps forward into the room.

  
Bruce stopped again, hesitating just outside the group of chairs as he glanced between the whole group. Barry didn’t let up.

  
“Get in here.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you comment on this I’ll literally love you so much. Comments mean the whole entire world to me, even if it’s just a “nice” or a keysmash. Thanks so much for reading and if you’re nervous to comment, a kudos is super cool too!


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